thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break
i'll be missing you.
its so hard to hold tears back when i think of you. so hard to read your memorial card without crying. its impossible not to cry on 14th march and 11th october.
no'one will actually understand the pain it brought me as a small child to loose you.
not seeing your smiling face when i came home from school, not having presents off you on my birthday or christmas, not being able to give you a hug when i fell out with one of my friends in school.
best'est time of my life.
jumping on your bed and waking you up every morning, i didn't want mummy, i wanted daddy. we watched the lion king every morning for about 3 months. it was my favourite film. you made me breakfast &we'd sit and watch it. you'd get me ready for school and carry me on your shoulders all the way there.
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i was a propper little daddy's girl.
it actually kills me a little bit inside to know i won't hear your soft voice again.
i don't even know why you were taken from me, like i understand that 'everything happens for a reason' just sometimes the reason's aren't clear.
but 'god' why would you take a little girls daddy from her?
two little children you had, two!
how is that fair?
worst time of my life.
sitting there in the church at your funeral next to my mummy, hold her hand whilst she cried. she stood at the front and spoke about you. how you were a brilliant daddy, how you were so much fun, how you were a caring person and all the cutest things about you.
she broke down in tears on the alter, stood infront of your coffin.
at the end everyone left the church and gathered outside. i stayed sitting. i watched my mum walk over to your coffin & kiss it. i just sat there and watched. she asked me if i wanted to kiss the coffin, but i was scared. i said "no" and just sat there.
when everyone had gone. i cried. i sat there and cried. i was so scared. i didn't know what was going to happen. i didn't understand the concept of the word death.
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i honestly couldn't wish for anything more than you comming home.
i love you so much.
the angels best be taking care of you daddy.
i miss you so so so much.
